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Thursday, January 19, 2017

Friendship - Guest Post by Camilla Isley

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 Guest post

by Camilla Isley

When I was asked to write about friendship, I realized at once that if love is the main topic in all my novels, friendship is a close second. Whenever I think of a protagonist for one of my books, I immediately want to set her in a contest where she has strong friendships. They will support her through whatever *mean* turn of events I expose her to.

In real life, I have come across all different types of friendships. And it’s amazing how variegated they can be. The dictionary definition of “Friend” is one attached to another by feelings of personal regard and affection. Yet, there should be at least five or six words to categorize friends.

Like the “I’ve known you forever” friend. That person you’ve been friend with since you were a kid, who knows everything that ever happened in your life. All the different yous that have existed at different ages. Because let’s be honest, fifteen-year-old you was a very different person from thirty-year-old you.

Then there are the “I’ve only known you as an adult” friends. The people who are familiar only with your more adjusted, mature side. Except for some fun anecdotes you may have told them, they have no idea how you were when you were younger, same as you don’t about them. These friendships give you the luxury of pretending you’ve always been a sensible person. So that when you say something fifteen-year-old-you would’ve never said, like “pink hair is stupid”, these new friends won’t arch a hypocritical eyebrow at you.

“The office only” friend. Most modern lives are spent for their majority inside offices. So it’s natural to become closer to some colleagues. It’s fascinating how sometimes that strong, everyday bond doesn’t trickle in the rest of out-of-office life. How an office friend can be confined to the four walls of a workplace. (Sometimes “office” friends do escape and invade weekends and nights out, so let’s create a new category for “in-and-out of office” friends.)

“Online” friends. All those people you’ve never met in real life, but that you’ve met online repeatedly and bonded with. Since I started writing, it has happened to me a lot. I found the online book-loving community to be a welcoming and kind one always ready to accept new members and give help for nothing in return. It surprised me how connected I feel to people I’ve never met in person and only corresponded with. Awesome perks of the digital era, I guess.

One funny kind of friendship is the “You’ve been my BFF for this period of my life and then I’ve never heard anything about you ever again” friend. Have you ever had one of those? That person that at one point seemed to be an extension of yourself, you did everything together, thought you’d be part of each other’s lives forever, and then all of a sudden, poof, they disappeared (or you disappeared). Those are enigmatic human patterns, much like mysterious highway backups, no one will ever be able to explain them.

The “you were my friend once but now I hate you” friend. (Not really a friend, I know, but I thought the category deserved a mention.) A breakup from a friend can be just as hurtful and traumatic as any romantic breakup. Sometimes even more. Especially if the friendship was one of those forever friendships mentioned above. Like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can be long-dragged happenings where two people slowly drift apart or instant breakup when, say, your BFF steals your boyfriend.

“Other sex” friendships. Do they really exists? I have an entire series of books planned on how thin the line dividing friendship and love can be. The series will be called Just Friends, and already the “just” in front of “friends” hints to many possibilities. Let’s Be Just Friends, the first book in the series is already published. But since I turned it into a series starter, I’m about to publish and update with some new chapters and new cover. The second book Friend Zone will be out in the next couple of months. In this second book, I really have so many friendship themes explored. Love in friendship, jealousy, betrayals and so much more… Really, friendships are an endless well of inspiration for me.

Finally, the “I’m in love with you” friend. It may seem cheesy when people say their spouses/partners are also their best friends, but I don’t think it is. After all, being in love with someone is the ultimate friendship. It’d be impossible for me to spend my life with someone who wasn’t my friend.

Did I miss some kind of friendship? Please let me know in the comments :)

About Camilla Isley

Camilla’s an engineer turned writer after she quit her job to follow her husband in an adventure abroad.

She’s a cat lover, coffee addict, and shoe hoarder. Besides writing, she loves reading—duh!—cooking, watching bad TV, and going to the movies—popcorn, please. She’s a bit of a foodie, nothing too serious. A keen traveler, Camilla knows mosquitoes play a role in the ecosystem, and she doesn’t want to starve all those frog princes out there, but she could really live without them.

Ten Random Things about Me

1. I got married twice. Same man, different dresses.
2. In total, I’ve earned three driving licenses from three different states. I failed only one driving test overall.
3. I did bungee jumping once.
4. I’m a picky eater.
5. I think tea is disgusting.
6. I love Coke; I hate Pepsi.
7. I love the iPhone but I can’t use an Apple iMac for the life of me. I always end up pressing apple c and instead of copying text, I delete everything that I’ve written.
8. Once I was involved in a spectacular bike accident. A classic, a lady opened her car door without looking and I rode into it at full speed. I flew over to the other side of the door and landed flat on the concrete, unscathed.
9. I’m not a morning person.
10. I used to be good at baking cakes, but lately they either burn, don’t cook, or don’t rise properly. My mom says it’s a clear sign I got married.

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  1. I love this overview and think it's wonderful that there are different types of friends. Except of course the ex category as that indeed hurts as much as a (romantic) relationship breakup. I love books about friendships, such a well chosen topic.

    1. Thank you guys for sharing my guest post... Love you and your fabulous blog :)

  2. True overview of types of friends. I'm lucky with ny internet friends who have become very speciAl. I wake up most days thinking I wonder how Suuz is.

    I don't like Pepsi either my husband says there is no different. I do t like Evian water either.

    1. Hi Tanya, it's great to know you agree with me ... I love this blog too, ans Suze and Anniek are pretty awesome people :)

  3. Great comments on the differnt types of friendships these days ~ online, office...

  4. I love this post!! I agree, friendships are so important and I've had ones in most of the categories listed here. And I so agree, it's so important to be good friends with your spouse - my husband is my best friend and it's wonderful!! :D xx